Pokemon Episodes That Never Were
by Dragon Lord Nyte
Summary: Um, title says it all! R&R please!
1. The stinkin' adventure sorta begins.

DISCLAIMER:I don't own pokemon. Nope, I sure don't.  
  
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Announcer: Our heroes are walking in a stupidly placed area right along the edge of a cliff that will collapse pretty soon. I'm tired of this job.  
  
Ash: It sure is a nice day for a walk, isn't it Pikachu?  
  
Pikachu:Pika! Pik pik a chu chu pika 'kachu'! Pika CHU! (Translation:You say that EVERY DAY! Why must you always say that? Have you no other opinion on it aside from it being 'nice? WELL?)  
  
Misty:I completely agree with you pikachu! It's an excellent day!  
  
Pikachu:Pik pika pika chu chu pikachu pika! (Hey, lady, did you understand anything I said?)  
  
Misty:Aww, what a cute little pokemon! *pets pikachu*  
  
Pikachu:*bites mistys hand*  
  
Misty:Aww, thank you pikachu! You're adorable!  
  
Pikachu:Pik pika pik pika chu chu chu pika! (I try to be ferocious and mean! WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M CUTE?)  
  
Tracey:WOW! Look at that! I gotta sketch it!  
  
Ash:What is it, Tracey?  
  
Tracy: Look at the amazing marks on this tree! The bark is all cracked!  
  
Ash:Even though I know that tree bark always looks like that, I'm gonna get all excited about this anyway!  
  
Misty:Me too!  
  
Tracey:I'm done! I better show this to professor Oak!  
  
Pikachu:Pi KACHU! (LOSER!)  
  
Tracey: Why thank you Pikachu!  
  
Pikachu:*sweatdrop*  
  
The ground below Ash, Misty, and Tracey starts to crack!  
  
Ash:Even though I know that the ground is cracking and we may be seconds away from our death, I'm gonna be stupid and stand here screaming instead of making any noticeable attempt to get away!  
  
Misty and Tracey:YEAH!  
  
Ash:Ready?  
  
Misty, Tracey, and Ash: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Announcer:Will Ash and his friends survive? Find out, RIGHT NOW!  
  
The ground below Ash, Misty, and Tracey crumbles and they start falling.  
  
Tracey: Wow! We're all falling to our doom! I better sketch this!  
  
Ash: I'm going to send out Bulbasaur just a second late so that he is just a millimeter away from reaching the edge of the cliff, and we all fall screaming!  
  
Bulbasaur:*Uses vine whip, but can't reach the edge of the cliff!  
  
Everyone:AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Ash:Told ya!  
  
Ash, misty, and Tracey get impaled right through the stomach by giant spikes!  
  
Ash: Are you okay? I'm okay, even though I have a spike sticking through me! I seem to be immortal!  
  
Misty:Yeah!  
  
Tracey:Me too!  
  
Ash:Hey, look! It's Charizard who just happened to be flying by at this time!  
  
Charizard gives everyone a ride to the top of the cliff, where team rocket also just happens to be!  
  
Ash: Oh no! It's Team Rocket!  
  
Everyone: *gasp!*  
  
Pikachu: pika pi pika pi pi pi! (I have to go pee!)  
  
Announcer: Will team rocket make a failed attempt to steal a pokemon? Will pikachu go to the bathroom? Will Tracey ever stop it with his damn sketches? Find out whenever the author decides to write another chapter!  
  
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Nyte:The end of chapter one! I will do chapter 2 when I get a review! 


	2. Oh boy! More EXCITING problems!

DISCLAIMER: Don't sue me. I don't own pokemon.  
  
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Announcer: Yeah, you probably remember what happened last time, and can also probably figure out what's going on now unless you are a complete retard.  
  
--- Mean while, in a little kids house:  
  
Little kid: MOMMY! HE CALLED ME A RETARD! WAAAAH!  
  
Okay, back to the story. ---  
  
Jesse: To protect the world from.oh forget it! You know what, this really sucks! I mean, we say this every episode, and it doesn't make any sense! I mean, protect? We're bad guys! We don't 'protect'! And why do we unite people? Who says we want to unite? UNITING SUCKS! And then there's the part about 'the evil of truth and love'? What about the evil of 'lies and hate'? It sounds so much more evil! And why the hell do we say our names? So the cops can track us down and put us in jail? I QUIT THIS STUPID JOB! I'm going to go work on Digimon or some other anime.  
  
Jesse runs off.  
  
James: Fine, I guess meowth and I are alone on this one. Actually, I'm glad she's gone! When we dress up, she always makes me be the girl! Sheesh, just because she wants to cross dress doesn't mean I do!  
  
Meowth: Um, I quit too! I'm tired of that dumb motto and all your stupid rants! Why all the rants? I mean, you never catch me ranting about anything! NEVER! I never talk in a long pointless fashion just to complain, but Jesse and James do it ALL THE TIME! Good bye.  
  
Meowth runs off.  
  
James: Well, I guess I'll have to use the same boring pokemon I always do. Go, barf ba-I mean Weezing.  
  
Weezing comes out of the pokeball, and runs off.  
  
James: Well, I guess if weezing quits, I quit. Find your self some stupid problem to solve, or help people, or teach a self help class or whatever you goody-two-shoes do.  
  
James runs off..  
  
Ash: You really think they're going to quit?  
  
Misty: Nah.  
  
Tracey: Wow! James and Jesse and all their pokemon ran off! I better sketch this an-WOW! Look at this blade of grass! It's HALF GREEN AND HALF BROWN!  
  
Ash: Uh oh! I think I hear people fighting in the distance!  
  
Misty: But if no one knows we heard, then they can't really care that we didn't help them, right?  
  
Ash: Hey yeah! That's a really good idea! I might never have to help some one again!  
  
A random guy comes running up.  
  
Random Guy: Hey, I've got a problem, can you help me?  
  
Ash: *sigh* I guess so. Let me guess, you're just a random guy that popped out of no where so we could be stuck helping you with your stupid problem, right.  
  
Random Guy: Yeah, aren't I such a jerk? Budding into other peoples business to make them solve my problems?  
  
Ash: Hell yeah! Now what's your name?  
  
Random Guy: Randy Guy.  
  
Ash: Figures. Oh well, I'm bored of this. I don't care about the announcer, I'm ending this. Right now. Good bye.  
  
Pikachu: Pika pi pi pi! (And I still have to pee!)  
  
Announcer: Will Ash calm down? What's Randy Guys problem (Aside from the obvious)? Will pikachu ever get to pee? Find out..uh..sometime, I guess.  
  
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Nyte: There, I put up Chapter 2 just like I promised. Aren't I nice? Actually, I'm just bored. 


	3. Um..what a HUGE problem..Yeah right...

DISCLAIMER: Do I have to type this for every chapter? I don't own pokemon!!  
  
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Announcer: Oh, some weird guy as a dumb problem.  
  
Ash: So, what do you need help with?  
  
Randy Guy: It's horrible! The worst thing that has ever happened to me!  
  
Misty: Oh, just tell us what it is already.  
  
Randy guy: MY PEN IS OUT OF INK!  
  
Ash: You took us out of our IMPORTANT journey just to tell us your PEN IS OUT OF INK?  
  
Randy Guy: And my tentacool won't refill it! Now I can't write anything!  
  
Ash: So? What's your point?  
  
Misty: Yeah, you're probably not that great of a writer anyway.  
  
Randy Guy: But why won't my tentacool refill my pen with its ink?  
  
Ash: Have you tried CATCHING the tentacool?  
  
Randy Guy: CATCHING? What's that?  
  
Ash: You mean you go around asking pokemon to do things without catching them first?  
  
Misty: Gee, you're a loser! We're out of here!  
  
Tracey: Wow! A real live loser! I better sketch this!  
  
Randy Guy: Wow! Thanks! You've taught me all my mistakes! You're heroes!  
  
Ash: WHY DOES EVERYTHING I DO LOOK LIKE I HELPED SOMEONE?  
  
Misty: I really don't know.  
  
Officer Jenny rides up on her motorcycle.  
  
Officer Jenny: Hey, are you the kids that help people a lot?  
  
Ash: Sadly, yes.  
  
Officer Jenny: Great! Can you help me stop the dangerous, fearsome, horrible, evil, terrible, ferocious, ultima-  
  
Ash: JUST GET ON WITH IT!  
  
Officer Jenny: -Ultimate MAGIKARP SQUAD OF DEATH BRINGING DOOM?  
  
Ash: Uh, maybe next chapter if you get us away from Randy Guy!  
  
Officer Jenny: Sure, just hop in to my motorcycle which conveniently has just enough room for all of us!  
  
Pikachu: Pika! Pi pi pika chu chu pika kachu! (I still have to pee! If I hold it for one more chapter I might explode!)  
  
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Nyte: Thanks for the reviews ^^ Sorry for the short chapter, the next one will be longer. 


	4. Announcer problems, and REALLY big heroe...

Nyte: Sorry it took so long, I was really busy with things. Thanks for the reviews. AND I STIL DON'T OWN POKEMON!  
  
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 Announcer: Officer Jenny has taken Ash and Co. away from that horribly annoying Randy Guy. But do you really care? DO YOU REALLY CARE? ASK YOURSELF: DO YOU REALLY CAAAAAAAARE?  
  
Ash: Shut up and get on with it already!  
  
Announcer: What if I don't WANT to, huh? Who are you to order me around? I have the most important job on this show, but do I ever get any respect? NO! No respect for the poor guy who has to talk at the beginning and end of every episode AND DOESN'T EVEN GET HIS FACE ON THE SCREEN!  
  
Ash: Uh, I hate to break it to you, but you do NOT have a very important job at all.  
  
Announcer: What do you mean by that?  
  
Ash: Well, all you do is point out something totally obvious at the beginning, and then say something really stupid at the end.  
  
Announcer: Exactly! Without me al the stupid kids out there would be totally lost! LOST I TELL YOU!  
  
^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v Meanwhile, in the some other kids house.  
  
Kid: MOMMY! MOMMY! He thinks I'm stupid!  
  
Kids Mom: You ARE stupid.  
  
Kid: Oh..yeah! I forgot!  
  
Back to the story. ^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v  
  
Announcer: See? People would be lost without me! LOST!  
  
Ash: Whatever. Can we get on with the episode already?  
  
Announcer: NO! I demand some on screen time! Or I won't feel special!  
  
Ash: You're NOT!  
  
Announcer: But I'll CRY!  
  
Pikachu*whispers to Ash*: Pika pika chu chu chu pika pika chu chu pichu pika pika! (Hey, let him on! Then I can pee on him!)  
  
Ash: You're right Pikachu, if we don't let him on, then we might never get on with the show!  
  
Pikachu: Pika pik pika chu pika. (Well, that's not what I said, but okay.)  
  
Ash: Fine, you can show your ugly mu-erm, face on television.  
  
Announcer: YAY! *jumps in front of camera* Hey kids, I'm the announcer! I'm your friend! Now, watch the little clock going back and forth! You are getting sleepy.you're asleep! I hope.NOW YOU WILL OBEY ME! GO DESTROY THINGS! DESTROY THEM I TELL YO-  
  
Pikachu: *jumps up on announcer and pees on him*  
  
Announcer: Aaah.acid pee! I think I'm going to die.or at least go off screen.  
  
Ash: Well, whoever knew he was a psycho? Oh well, on with the show!  
  
Officer Jenny: *pulls over her motercycle* Okay, there they are! *points to a pair of almost lifeless flopping magikarp*  
  
Ash: THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF?  
  
Officer Jenny: You'll see! LOOK!  
  
Magikarp: *flop onto the sand, leaving an imprint*  
  
Officer Jenny: NOOO! NOT THE SAND! WHY?!?! WHY THE SAND! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!  
  
Ash: Um, okay then.Pikachu! Take care of this!  
  
Pikachu: *thunderbolts magikarp*  
  
Magikarp: *are both reduced to dust*  
  
Officer Jenny: OH THANK YOU! You're a hero! You have accomplished what few others have ever done! Oh, you're great and all powerful!  
  
Ash: Um, yeah, thanks, I guess.  
  
Misty: Whatever, let's leave.  
  
Ash: Okay. I'm gonna go get a badge or something.  
  
Officer Jenny: GREAT! There's a Gym near here! You can battle here and stay at out lousy, 1 star pokemon center!  
  
Ash: Oh.joy.  
  
Misty: Yeah. The ultimate joy I am experiencing cannot be compared too.  
  
Ash: That's probably because you're NOT experiencing any joy.  
  
Misty: Oh, yeah.  
  
Ash: What's the name of this town, anyway?  
  
Officer Jenny: Diputsville.  
  
Ash: No wonder. Well, let's go to this lousy pokemon center you speak of.  
  
*Later, they arrive at the pokemon center*  
  
Tracey: WOW! I've never seen anything so unspeakably lousy! I better sketch this!  
  
Ash: Um, seeing as we have to stay here for a while (which I DREAD) can we at least end the episode?  
  
Announcer: Fine! Wil ash blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.*4 hours pass* find out.um, soon I think. 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0  
  
Nyte: That one was a bit longer. Keep the reviews coming! 


	5. The unthinkable happens

Nyte: FINALLY I got another chapter up. I don't own pokemon. Yay for me. 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0  
  
Announcer: Alright now, if you don't know where we are, read the last chapter. Yeah.  
  
Ash: Does this pokemon center have any beds that aren't full of holes?  
  
Nurse Joy: Well, there is that one, but-  
  
Ash: I CALL IT!  
  
Nurse joy: But-  
  
Ash: NO BUTS! It's only big enough for one person and that one person is ME!  
  
Misty: Um, while I'm here, cold you heal my Horsea?  
  
Nurse Joy: Sure I will, Ditsy!  
  
Misty: Thanks! And it's MISTY, not DITSY!  
  
Nurse joy: Same thing.  
  
A FEW HOURS LATER.  
  
Nurse Joy: Your horsea is healed, but due to the bad quality of the cleaning devices, it caught a disease.  
  
Misty: WHAT?!? So you just made it WORSE?  
  
Nurse Joy: Yep.  
  
Ash: Well, that was a nice nap! But something in this mattress is very stinky!  
  
Nurse Joy: I tried to warn you. That mattress is where I store all the dead bugs and other pests that get in here.  
  
Ash: WHAT?  
  
Nurse Joy: You heard me.  
  
Ash: I'm not recommending this place to any of my friends.  
  
Nurse Joy: You don't have any friends except for those two. And what's that lack haired boy doing anyway?  
  
Tracey: I'm sketching the psycho scyther outside cutting every ones head off.  
  
Ash: Oh, okay.  
  
Officer Jenny: *runs into pokemon center* OH NO! We've got a MAJOR crisis here!  
  
Ash: What? The scyther?  
  
Officer Jenny: NO! Even worse! Some weird guy is trying to steal all the pens!  
  
Ash: Uh oh. Do you think it's.  
  
Misty and Tracey: Randy guy.  
  
Ash, Misty, Tracey, and Officer jenny run outside.  
  
Randy Guy: YES! It is I! RANDY GUY! And I now have all the pens! Now I will never run out of ink again! MWAHAHA!  
  
Ash: Couldn't you just get one damn pen?  
  
Randy Guy: NO! I went mad because you two didn't help me!  
  
Ash: We didn't help you because you were being stupid!  
  
Randy Guy: I don't care! It's polite to help! But now I posses all the pens in Diputsville! Everyone will bow down to me!  
  
Tracey: Oh no you don't! I still have one pen!  
  
Randy Guy: *gasp* No! I must have ALL the pens! *takes out pen like a lightsaber*  
  
Tracey: *takes out his pen like a light saber*  
  
Tracey and Randy Guy continue to have a lightsaber/pen fight until. . . .  
  
Traceys Pen: *breaks*  
  
Tracey: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Randy Guy: HAHAHAHA! I am the victor! I WIN! I'm better then you! HAHAHA!  
  
Announcer: Will Tracey ever get over his broken pen? Will Randy Guy keep all the pens to himself? Find out. . . . . . I don't know! Just find out! 


End file.
